Welcome to Week #5

We were told that nasty things start happening in Week #5. They weren't kidding. Almost overnight Jim has gotten very sick. When he got up this morning he was very lethargic, could not speak, could not eat, could hardly drink. By the time we got to the hosptial he was almost alseep on his feet, even though he had a pretty good night. This can be put on the back of the Vicodin. He is also dealing with its severe side effects. Enough said. This was his day to see Dr. Schmidt and as we sat in the examining room Jim lay down on the table and fell asleep. The doc is still very pleased with his progress and is sympathtic to the medically-induced side effects. They have all sorts of things to give him to relieve the suffering they are causing. The tumor is shrinking and the inside of his mouth still looks very healthy. So it wasn't all bad. Just most of it. Jim dozed on the way home and went right to bed and slept for about an hour and a half. He woke feeling a bit better but still not hungry. What's so worrisome is that he has no energy at all. He can barely move from bed to chair to sofa. This is a big change which the doc says is only going to get more pronounced. His advide: sleep as much as you can. This sleeping activity, however, is counter to Jim's nature!

Yesterday I told you about the sage harvest. Here's what we got for our trouble.
The house is redolent with a fall herby-Thanksgiving turkey dressing-rich pork stew scent. It is even somewhat appealing to Jim, although he does not want to eat anything that even remotely resembles turkey or pork stew. He's lucky if he can get his meds down with plain water. He did a grand job of getting down some dinner; still swallowing, even though there is almost no taste involved. We have had our evening walk, slow but steady. I am very grateful he can still do that. it is good for him to get a bit of exercise. Good for me, too.

Now begins the really hard part, the "in sickness and in health" part. One makes this vow in the pink and never thinks of it again. We have come face to face with it and this is a test of what you said you would do, the contract you made. In one sense it is very easy; this is my beloved for whom I will do everything. In another it is agonizingly difficult. The assault on the body and the spirit is impossible to observe without raging against the fates that have brought it to us.

Now is "sickness"; soon will be "health".