The End of "Restorative" Weekends

Those blessed relief days are over for awhile. In fact, I think Jim got worse during this weekend; much weaker, more trouble with his throat, more coughing, more pain. It's true, we were warned, but he had been doing so well up until this point. The blood pressure is still an issue; too high, then too low. And he's gotten very weak all of a sudden. For some reason I don't quite understand, a cold pack on his head is soothing. Perhaps they have fried his brains by mistake? His entire mouth is now so sensitive and sore that he can't use the soda/salt gargle they prescribed. The "magic mouthwash" with lydocaine to dull the pain makes him gag. I have smelled it and I know why! It may be time to ramp up the pain meds. He has stopped speaking altogether; hand signals and pointing now get the job done.

Amid all this destruction and death -- dead leaves, dead flowers, dead cancer cells and hair follicles,and dead tired -- came glorious life in the form of a green plant, a bonsai schefflera. This tiny "Hawaiian Umbrella" tree sits in a beautiful blue plate-pot. It is covered with tiny, shiny green leaves of varying hue and it as cheering and spirit-lifting as you can imagine. We're moving it around the house from spot to spot to see where it likes to live best, and where we can see it at it's best advantage. It will probably end up on the kitchen counter where it will be constantly admired, have a daily dose of indirect light, and will remind us of the good thoughts of the sender. I will put up a photo of this lovely greenery tomorrow.

The consensus at the lab this morning was that the dosage of the blood pressure med was too high. Unless he has a reading over 150 he will not take any medication. Then he will halve the dosage. Since he has been home the readings have been good. We will monitor him every few hours just to be sure he doesn't go too high or too low.

After today's treatment Jim has six left, or seven if you include chemo on Thursday. Since he got home at about 12:30 he has been sleeping. It is now after 8 PM, and he is still asleep. This is the way it is going to be for the next two or three weeks. Meanwhile, Alex and I have had a lovely dinner and it is now time for everyone to sleep and prepare for another day tomorrow. I will again have a day off as Alex will take Jim to treatment in the morning. I can get the beds changes, the bathrooms cleaned, the larder restocked. It is again wonderful to have someone to take the daily commute off my plate.

Tomorrow is election day. Vote early and often.